The authorities are interested in discovering the whereabouts of one, generous, Oklahoma suspect named Helen - a.k.a. "The Reddirt Woman!!!"
She is described as being a woman - a woman that is dirty, and the dirt she carries on her person has been described as being red.
She's been known to frequent vegetables gardens - more specifically: tomato vines and okra patches. Other know hang outs are any, and all O.U. Sooners souvenir shops.
Please watch out for this woman, and approached with extreme caution. This suspect has been known to carry farm utensils. She is well trained and can use them with deadly accuracy.
Other aliases include: Magenta Mud Matron, Fuchsia Filth Female, and Scarlet Soil Siren.
If you do happen to make contact with her, please don't tell her that her
Also, certain unnamed sources have discovered this additional image of her buried deep within her own blog.
(Her Schnauzer are the subject to an ongoing investigation as well.)
Your help is needed in apprehending this woman. Comments may be made regarding this suspect's other possible aliases and/or hangouts.
But please!!!, use extreme caution when approaching this individual. Otherwise you might find produce placed in your mailbox.
Thank you. That is all.