Family Practice - You Don't Send Me Flowers

It's been a while since I published one of my Family Practice cartoon strips. For those newer guests to my blog, this was an attempt a few years ago to get a strip into syndication. But that was not to be. In order to submit an idea to the cartoon syndicates you must show them at least a month's worth of concepts. I drew more than that, but now I'm running low of examples to post here.

Younger readers probably won't get the punch line. The line "You don't send me flowers" won't resonate with them. But you older bloggers...

If you want, you can see my earlier Family Practice posts by typing that into the search bar above.

Be sure to click on the image to get a larger view.

Family Practice - Be A Millionaire

It's been a while since I've posted an edition of Family Practice; my one attempt for cartoon syndication and fame.

Some children are destined for fame and others for fortune...

(Click on the image for the larger view.)

Family finances can be interesting. I can't remember the exact inspiration for this particular strip, but it seems that something similar actually happened in our house. I do remember that the other day we did get some money from our middle daughter for helping to repair her car, and then we turned around and gave a big portion of it right back for her birthday.

Does that make any sense to you?

Family Practice - Make Me Look Fat?

It's been a while since I uploaded one of my Family Practice strips. For those new to my blog... this was my one attempt at trying to get a cartoon strips into syndication. But, alas, that was not to be.

In order to submit a concept for publication an artist is suppose to come up with a month's worth of strips for the cartoon syndicate to look at - to see if you're actually funny... or not. I got a nice rejection letter from each syndicate - a form letter, but they were nice. I'm sure that part of my problem was that there are a ton of family based cartoon strips already out there. My idea wasn't original enough.

The twist I tried to put on the concept was a sort of battle of the sexes idea. But, as is true of my life, the lone male in this family is far out numbered by the females.

Yes, the concept was very autobiographical, but I added live in mother-in-law to this family. My MIL lives nearby, and so there is plenty of interaction between us, but she's married and maintains her own household. Part of my idea for the strip included an on going battle of whits between the husband, Roy, and his MIL. This particular sample is another example of that battle...

(Click on the illustration to zoom in.)

This piece introduces a larger, very important, question...

That is: When should a wife ask her husband if a particular piece of clothing makes her "look fat?"

The answer is: Only when she wants an honest answer.

The next question is: When should a husband answer that question honestly?

The answer to that question is... NEVER!!!

That's one of those, "They never taught me this in marriage school" kind of things that a guy learns in the heat of the battle... as it were. Meaning, the battle that ensues after he answers the question honestly.

Young men out there! Hear me! When asked, if the dress makes your wife look too fat?, the answer always is... I repeat!!! Always is... "NO!" I'm not saying that you should lie. I'm just say what Roy was thinking in the above cartoon strip. It's not the dress, or shirt, or pants, that makes ANYBODY (male or female) look fat. It's fat that makes a person look fat. (This I know first hand.)

Remember that, young groom. When asked that question, look your beloved in the eyes and say "NO!" Then smile and keep your mouth shut!

Generally one has to pay a lot of money to get good advice like this, but here I am dolling it out for free. Boy, that's just the kind of guy that I am, and just one of the many benefits you can enjoy by visiting this blog.

(And I pray to God that my wife never reads it.)

BTW: My friend The Bean is having a contest over at her blog. I don't normally like to post links to bloggers contest, but I like Bean. She's a sweet lady, and it's for a good cause. (Plus, I have a better chance at winning if I link to her blog.) So, go drop in and tell her that I sent you.

Family Practice - Nerd Day

I'm trying to remember the story behind this particular strip, but my memory fails me. But, as best as I can remember, something very similar to this happened to one of our girls, and I thought it deserved to be immortalized in cartoon.

Also, I just had to share this photo.


Monday I saw this rainbow after driving our youngest to school. I went home to grab my camera and then drove quickly to the beach to get off as many shots as I could before it faded. While I was shooting some pics the boat came out from the harbor. The boat looked like it was "Chasing After the Rainbow."

Download and/or share if you would like.

Family Practice - Neutral Party

Here's are two more installments of my Family Practice cartoon strip. My idea for the strip was to give Roy, the husband/father, of the strip a career as a family counselor. I thought that this would provide many opportunities to explore humor outside of the main character's family. These two are some of the very few that I drew for submission to the various cartoon gods syndicates for publication.

In honor of "March Madness" I present these two for your viewing pleasure.

Family Practice - Not Mother's Day 2

This is the follow up strip to yesterday's cartoon.

So, where were you anyway? You're late! Go back and read that post first, and then you'll have to try and find some time to catch up with the rest of the class.

Honestly, the kind of behavior that I have to put up with...

Family Practice - Not Mother's Day 1

In honor of my mother, because it is her birthday today, here is another installment of my Family Practice cartoon strip. (Click on the image for the full size view.)

AND! here's Mom and Dad. (a.k.a. Bob and Jo)

Photo taken by my talented niece, Sarah Jo.

Family Practice - Shampoo

This particular panel was actually the first one I drew for my Family Practice strip. It came from a moment of inspiration while taking a shower one day.

I hate, I hate, I HATE (Have I stressed that enough yet?), I really dislike standing in the shower and having all the female bath products dropping around my feet because there is not enough room on the edge of the tub to keep them all in place. In a house dominated by women, there is NO END to the kinds of oils, lotions, and various liquids that can be bought for the beautification and restoration of a lady's... umm... person.

I especially dislike, (OK, I hate it too) when the lady's razor drops around your feet for the very same reason. AND, it always seems to happen when you have a face full of soap and you can't open your eyes. There you are, helplessly blinded - fearful of stepping on the blade and recreate a scene out of a Alfred Hitchcock movie - blood flowing down the tub, all around the drain. (Is this too graphic?)

So, while standing in the shower, with all the female products splashing around my feet I thought that there ought to be a cartoon strips which highlights the plight of a man dealing with life in a female dominated world - thats me!

Again, I was never able to sell the strip, so you all get to see the by-products from a guy chasing a dream that was never realized.

Fortunately, after we remodeled the bathroom, I pretty much have a shower to myself now - one shampoo, one conditioner, and one bar of soap. Occasionally, I do discover a pair of panty hose hanging in there to dry. But I don't complain - I just doodle.

Also, I keep forgetting to add a link to the Nation Public Radio website where my caricature of Dawn Meehan was published. NPR interviewed her and wanted to use the illustration for their article. She gave them permission with the stipulation that they would add a link to my blog page. I really appreciate Dawn doing that for me when she didn't have to.

Check out my post on Oct. 18,2007 for the full story of that illustration.

Family Practice - Battle Bob

My wife and I spent most of the day yesterday Christmas shopping. Only for us, a trip to the mall involves a 2 1/2 hours driving one way. It's an all day affair.

Yet again, I followed my wife around as we picked out various gift items for our girls. Alas, it's always the same thing. We rushed by all the COOL STUFF to get to the girlie items: shirts, beauty products, pants, coats, and a few ladies' unmentionables, etc. etc.

Since I am the father of three girls (And yes, I under biologically that I am responsible for that.) I NEVER got the chance, on Christmas morning, to sit on the floor with some boys while they try out their manly (huff, grunt, growl) toys.

This is the inspiration behind this particular cartoon panel.

Click on Image for a larger size

I wish my girls would hurry up and give me a grandson to play with on Christmas morning. WHAT AM I SAYING!?! You take your time girls. I can wait.

P.S. For the record: I love my girls dearly and I wouldn't trade them for any boy in the world!!!

Family Practice - Packing Skills

The Season of Shopping Has Begun!

Click on the image to see the full size.

This is another cartoon strip left from my attempt at having a syndicated cartoon and another example of me creating an idea from real life situation. The conversation in this piece pretty much follows one that I had with my wife on a Christmas shopping adventure - only I think that my mother-in-law thought, not said, the last line.

Family Practice - Happy Thanksgiving

Click on the image for a larger view.

Family Practice - Watch Football 2

This is the follow-up strip to yesterday's post. Yesterday Heidi left a comment asking me, "Did this really work for you." Honestly, I never tried to bribe any of my three daughters into watching a football game with me. Believe me it would have taken more than $5 to get them to do it - I'm sure.

My oldest daughter is "seriously" dating a young man (see my Feb. 28th post) and he REALLY likes football. He's introducing me to the world an Fantasy Sports. (If had I to explain it you still wouldn't understand). But, maybe, if this relationship works out, I'll have someone to watch a game or two with me during the holiday seasons.

It's kind of scary trusting your daughter to pick out your first son for you. So far, so good.

Family Practice - Watch Football 1

I know that there are a lot of "Football Widows" out there. My wife is not one of them. I enjoy watching a good game, but I gave up on being any kind of "intense" fan a long time ago. BUT... what does the lone member of the male gender do in a household full of women when he wants to have a little companionship during a big game?

The answer is below...
Either buy a pair of reading glasses OR click on the image to get the full size.

Family Practice - Lid Up 2

To fully appreciate this post you should read the previous submission. Regarding that post, I must say that I was surprised at the number of comments that the subject of toilet lid placement generated. It is apparently a heart felt (or posterior felt) issue in a large number of households.

I do wish to emphasis that my suggested toilet lid campaign is directed towards PUBLIC unisex facilities and not the common household variety. I have long been well trained on lid placement in my house full of women.

Of the response that I got I think that the most practical one came from Valarie who wrote that "maybe the male that was leaving the unisex bathroom with the toilet seat down was doing something in there that he needed the seat down for!?! :)" My response to her was that I try not to think about such things - thoughts like that tend to break my concentration, and heaven knows you need to keep your concentration while using those kind of facilities.

Anyway, this is another sample from my failed attempt at comic strip syndication which talks about the controversial issue of... lid up, or lid down?
Click on the image to get a larger view.

Family Practice - Aging Parents

This is another one of my Family Practice cartoons that came right out of real life. Sometime ago I was given a free copy of a book entitled "Caring For Your Aging Parents." When I saw the book I knew EXACTLY what to do with it. I put the book on our coffee table at home - right where my loving mother-in-law could easily find it. Sure enough, she saw it and asked, "Is this about me?" PERFECT! It couldn't have come off better.

She thought we were studying up on how to deal with her in her old age - I mean - "golden years" - whatever. I had to laugh and explain where the book came from. I think she has forgiven me - or maybe she has just forgotten.

I love my mother-in-law and what joy she brings to me by giving me opportunities to torture her just a bit.

I don't remember what I did with the book, but if I could find it I would be happy to loan it to you so that you could torture some of your in-laws as well.

Family Practice - Five Pound Bag

It's been a while since I posted on of my Family Practice series. This was my one attempt to syndicate a cartoon strip for publication. I was turned down by all the best syndicates. I think that they weren't interested in another family based cartoon.

This is another idea that came right out of life. My wife has to be a gold medalist when it comes to finding a bargain. I've often accused her of having an affair with some guy named Clarence. She's always looking for him when she goes shopping. He's some kind of Sailor ("Sale-lor" - get it?) O.K., she didn't think it was all that funny either.

I'm sitting in the lobby of the Ashland Community Hospital. My wife is having some surgery done. It's been three hours now. It should be over with soon - hopefully.

Family Practice - Panty Hose

I'm telling you, many of these cartoons are very autobiographical. How many times have I walked in the bathroom, to take a shower, only to discover my wife's under garments hanging there to dry. When I have threatened to put my under shorts up for display she doesn't seem to understand the correlation. I've yet to actually do it, but drawing this cartoon did give me some satisfaction.

I think that every man out there can identify with my plight. What do you think?

Family Practice - Ask Dad for $ - 3

This is the last in a series of three strips. Be sure to read May 31st and the June 1st before reading this one.

Family Practice - Ask Dad for $ - 2

I really like this one. And believe me, this one came right out of real living.

Be sure to read the entry on May 31st before reading this one. And, remember to "click" on the drawing to view it at full size.

What do YOU think?

Family Practice - Ask Dad for $ - 1

One last post for the month of May and it's time for another addition of Family Practice. This strip is the beginning of three strips related to the subject. Let me ask you a question, which one of your parents was the easiest mark and when it came to asking one of them for fun money? Which one would you have most likely hit up for some extra cash - your mom, or your dad?

What do you think?